have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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