You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
