oh god the rape fog is back!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he fucked my hip out of place.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
