I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
