If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
babies were throwing up all over the place
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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