Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
