I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
