just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
