I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Too much gin, very little bucket
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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