ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
