Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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