No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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