I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
