Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
ttyl tear gas
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
