On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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