Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
