If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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