My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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