Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize