...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
