My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
