I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's shark week go big or go home
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
