you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
