Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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