Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize