Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
worst night to have a conscience
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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