But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
