I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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