ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
