And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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