This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
