I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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