real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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