WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
