I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
