I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
