areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
