doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
