Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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