he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
