I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
