Come see our sink grown plant.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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