Where did you get a picture of my penis
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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