It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was confusing and full of hummus
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
