This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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