i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
