The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize