So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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