I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
