i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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