Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
