i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize