Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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