if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
