can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We smell like vodka and hangover
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