She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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