I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
