how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
