Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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