Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't turn off my feet"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
