Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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