my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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