I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
