seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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