Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
