Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
