saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
