Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
