i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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