So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
