There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
