Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
