Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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