ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
how drunk are you?
Several
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize